Emails From My Ex
by LetsCallItFate
Summary: After a high school break up, Nathan and Haley keep in contact as they continue with their lives. ON HIATUS
1. September

**A/N Hey, so this is my first One Tree Hill fanfic , so at times it may be a bit OOC. Its set after high school, but its set as if season one had just continued, so no baby and Haley didnt go on tour and all that kind of stuff. So review and I'll post more. Hope you like it :)**

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**September.**

6/09

Haley,

i knew you would be too stubborn to pick up the phone, so I thought I'd email you. Its so weird that we've gotten to the point where sending you an email is the only contact I have with you, especially when we both know how bad I am at this kind of thing. But I miss you Haley, so much and I'm going to do whatever it takes to talk to you,because I need you to know that I care about you, more than anything.

I never thought that I would be the one that ended up in California and you in North Carolina still. I was so sure that it would be you leaving to go to Stanford and me staying at home, going to Duke. I hope that you're liking college and that its all okay, because I want you to be happy Hales, I do.

I know that you'll probably delete this, but I need you to know that I'm thinking of you and that I'm sorry. I've said it a million times but I know that its not enough to fix us.

N.

12/09

Nathan,

You're right. Its not enough to fix us. But I love you too damn much to give up on you completely and so I decided we can do this. Send emails, be friendly but nothing more - it would hurt me too much.

Things here are okay. I still live at home, rather than getting a dorm, or apartment or something because you know what my parents are like, they're barely around so it makes sense. I'm still working at the Cafe, but not tutoring anymore.

Nathan, I just hope you're happy with yourself.

13/09

I'm sorry. I hate that I'm responsible for you hurting. all I want is too be able to hold you again and make your pain go away. But I cant tell you how happy I am that you're giving me another chance, even if it does mean just being friends.

It sounds good Haley, maybe you'll be able to save enough money to transfer to Stanford like you always wanted. You can do so much better than community college and I know you'll get there.

I deserved that. It doesn't change anything I know, but I;m miserable. I feel so bad, I honestly do. I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel better, anything.

Say hi to my Mom and Karen from me.

N.

17/09

Nathan.

Just remember that I don't owe you anything. So please just stop with all these apologies, I understand that you're sorry but it doesn't change what you did. I know that you think I'm being unreasonable, but knowing just changes everything. You're just not the person I thought you were and I cant see you in the same way anymore. Its like you're a completely different person and I know that you were back then, but I always thought you were better than that.

Stop it. I don't need your sympathy about where I'm going to college, unlike you money isn't everything to me. When you say that, it makes me wonder what I even saw in you, when clearly we're so different.

What do you want me to say? That you should come for a weekend and talk everything out? Because we tried that Nathan and it didn't get us anywhere, it just made it worse.

They say hi too. Your Mom wants you to call her. Neglecting your family already? Its weird around the diner, with your Mom always around. Luke and Peyton are coming home this weekend and it will be good to see them. Its only been three weeks since everyone left, but it feels like forever to me. Summer went by so quickly and I wasn't ready for everyone to go. Even you. I do miss you, as much as I don't want too, but I know by now you will have moved on and not be missing me at all. Because after all, you are Nathan Scott.

18/09

Haley, I was stupid back then, you know that. Being with you changed me and I'm so glad, you may regret our relationship, but I never will. I know what I did was wrong now and if I could change what happened I would, because it hurt us.

Its not everything to me either. I just thought you would want that, I know how much you wanted to go and I just think that you should try and go, even if its only for a year or something. I didn't mean to offend you Haley, I just wanted to remind you of how smart and talented you are.

I know I was an asshole that night, but I think talking about it would help get us through this. I'm coming home for the weekend in a few weeks, and I'd really like it if we could meet up and talk.

Oh god. I forgot she was working there. They're still together then? I haven't really spoken to anyone since I left, only you because you're the only one I really miss.

Don't say that Haley. Its not true, so don't even think it. There haven't been any okay, because I didn't know where we are and I didn't want to do anything that would hurt us.

N.

23/09

Nathan,

You don't get it do you? you feel bad about it hurting our relationship? That's not the point at all. What you did wasn't wrong to me, it was wrong to somebody else, it was what you said to me that hurt me. And now you're acting like you understand that it was wrong because I'm angry, when at first you didn't think it was that bad. So don't act like half of what you're saying isn't bullshit Nathan.

Well it didn't work out for me did it? Things change.

You were, but I'm glad it happened because it showed me that I was making the right descion. _ I _cant be with someone who does that.

Yeah well you should. Because even if you don't consider them friends they care about you, probably because I haven't told them why we broke up. Peyton and Lucas were asking about you, they seem to think that we're gonna get back together, despite what I told them.

We broke up Nate, that's where we stand. And no matter how much I want too sometimes, I cant go back. I'm glad you haven't though, its things like that which remind me why I stuck with you for so long. Its going to take someone pretty special to replace you, Nathan Scott.

H.

25/09

Haley I was fifteen! I've grown up a lot since then, I was still a kid back then and I didn't know what to do. You're right, what I said was how I felt then, because I'm always taking the easy way out. But I swear to you Hales, I feel differently now, I really do. I shouldn't of done what I did, but I was only fifteen and doing what I thought was best.

I'm sorry for being an ass. How are your classes? Made friends yet?

Haley, please. I need to see you and explain, I'm not going to lose you without a fight, I wont do it.

I do care about them, he's my brother. Ive just been so busy that when I get a chance to write to someone, I write to you. But I'll call him later, I promise. Thank you. Its not something I wanted people to know about, that's why no one really knew.

I know that, but isn't there any chance we can work this out? You're the only girl I ever loved and I'm not giving up on you that easily Haley. If you can tell me to my face that you don't want me anymore, I'll drop it. But until you do, I'm going to wait.

Nathan.

29/09

I know that you were fifteen, but that makes it worse. I understand that you were young and confused, but what you did was something that Dan would've done. Maybe worse. I guess he was probably proud of you. I always felt bad for you, living with your Dad and I was always secretly glad that Luke didn't have him around. But now I'm wondering - if you could pull that at fifteen, what will you be like at thirty?

Nate, that's still patronising. But my classes are good, really interesting. I've met some nice guys and a couple of girls, but I still really miss Brooke and Peyton and none of the guys measure up to Luke. Its so weird not having him around me, because he's been there for as long as I can remember. How are your classes? And basketball obviously.

I really cant Nathan. I'm so terrified that seeing you again will make me forget all the reasons why I;m mad. You know the right things to say, because you know me so well.

Just remember that he cares, don't forget about them all Nathan because they love you.

Nate, you know that I love you, I have ever since that night when you drove me all the way home from the beach house after the party and I even risked Lucas for us, but maybe we're just too different to work out. Maybe breaking up was the right thing for us Nathan, I promise you if I thought we could work things out I'd tell you. But I don't think we can and I think if we try, we'll just end up hating each other and I don't want that for us Nate.

Haley.


	2. October

**A/N Please review, it makes me feel really insecure that i'm getting hits for a story and people arent reviewing :/ Tell me if you like it or not**

2/10

Haley, you have no idea how much that kills me to know that you think that about me. I will never be Dan. You know that. But you're right about Luke, i was so jealous of him sometimes because he got Keith and i had Dan. Not much of a comparison. I made one mistake Haley, but that doesn't make me my father and I'm sick of hearing your crap about it. I know i screwed up, but cant we just move on?

Guys? Like friends or...? Because i didn't know we were allowed to date.

Again with making me feel like crap Haley. You really have a gift don't you? Was i really that bad a boyfriend, because all i remember was giving up everything for you. I stopped sleeping with other girls, getting drunk every night and i even let myself be seen with you in school. I gave up who i was for you and you didn't give up anything for me, you just expected me to change who i was to fit you so stop acting like I'm the bad guy. I made a mistake, but now you're just acting like a twelve year old.

4/10

What is your problem? I'm allowed to have an opinion, aren't i? But i didn't really mean it Nathan, I know you're never going to be him, you're not going to be your father. Its just I'm upset and hurting and I'm taking it out on you. I don't know how to move on Nate, because you're the only guy I've ever loved and somehow you re always there in my mind. Maybe we just tried to be friends too soon.

Just friends. It wouldn't be fair to date anyone when I'm still not over you. But that doesn't mean you cant, if you want too. I'm not your girlfriend, you can do what you want Nathan.

No. Stop it. Don't you dare turn this around on me Nathan, just don't go there. I never said you were a bad boyfriend because you weren't. And didn't force you to give up anything, its just that when you're in a relationship you tend to not want your boyfriend sleeping around. My mistake. And you know what Nathan? I'm sorry you are so ashamed of me, I really am, I'm sorry I'm not a brainless slut, I'll try to change.

7/10

Jesus Haley. Why are we being like this? We should both know better. I think maybe we should stick to safer subjects so we don't end up hating each other.

Oh okay. Well i guess i kind of need to tell you something. I've met someone. We've only met up twice. but shes really nice and I just thought you should know, before you heard from someone else. i hope this is okay with you, i just figured that we broke up and you don't want to get back together i can see her. Its only been a couple of days though, its not serious or anything.

I know. I gave up all that stuff because i wanted too. I loved you so damn much, that all of that just seemed irrelevant in comparison. I wanted to be someone who deserved you and I promise you Haley James, i wasn't ashamed of you. Just don't change Haley, the world needs more girls like you and less "brainless sluts".

I'm an asshole, forgive me?

Nathan.

10/10

I guess that's the best thing to do. How's college?

Well we're not together anymore, so why does it even matter what I think? You're free to screw whoever you want.

Well maybe it is time i changed. Learnt to have more fun. Maybe its my turn to go out and get drunk and meet people. You know what I'm going to call my friends right now and go out. I have a paper due in a couple of days, but who cares? Not me. Go have fun with your new girlfriend.

10/10

Haley - what the hell was that? This isn't you, i know you remember? Is this because of Sasha? Because its nothing Hales, just a few dates and that's it. What am i meant to do? You made it very clear that we are over, so I'm just trying to move on.

Just write back so i know you're okay.

10/10 Are you home yet?

11/10 Write back as soon as you get home.

11/10

Nathan,

I'm fine, don't worry. I can go out every now and again, or are you trying to tell me i cant do that? I just went out with some of my friends, no big deal Nate. You do it all the time.

Nathan, everything is not about you and your little girlfriend. I had a really good night last night and I'm not going to feel bad about it. You don't need to worry about me, I'm a big girl now.

So tell me all about California. You haven't told me anything.

H.

11/10

Haley,

You have no idea how worried I was about you last night. I don't mean that you cant go out, its just so different. I used to have to drag you to parties and Brooke and Peyton went through hell trying to get you to go out with them. I guess you're just changing Hales, I just hope your new friends are taking care of you. just don't do that to me again, okay?

I don't go out all the time anymore. Basketball and school take up most of my time and I'm working really hard so i can come home for the summer, instead of having to catch up. I love it out here Hales, its amazing. My classes are good and I'm actually getting good grades for once, i guess all those study sessions we had really helped me. Basketballs different. I'm so used to having my dad there, yelling at me every time i mess up, which is good i guess. But then i hate not being in control of the team, I'm so used to being captain and its hard to start again at the bottom. Its really intimidating actually. I must so arrogant right now.

Hows Tree Hill? I know some stuff from my Mom, but hows it for you?

Shes not my girlfriend Haley. We actually got in a fight last night. We were meant to go out, but she left because i wouldn't leave my computer, because i was worried about my ex girlfriend. I'm not sure this was the right time.

Nathan.

16/10

Nathan,

I find it hilarious that you blew off a date, just because you were worried about me going out. But its kind of sweet though. Oh god, i remember that. Whenever Brooke came round so we could get ready together, she'd give me that look and go, "oh tutor girl." when she saw what i was wearing, and you would always just stand there laughing at me.

Nathan Scott - studying? Wow Nate, that's really good, I'm so proud of you. Well you are arrogant, but that's part of you i guess, and don't worry, i now you'll soon be leading the team because (don't tell Luke!) you're the best basketball player I've ever seen. So just be patient, it will happen for you.

Its good,just a lot emptier since everyone left for college. I mean some people are still here that went to high school with us, but most have gone to college out of state. Schools good, its basically the same as High School though, which kind of sucks and nothings really hard so i have a lot of free time nowadays.

17/10

Whatever. She wasn't anything special. I wasn't laughing at you, i was laughing at the situation. I could always tell when you'd been shopping with Brooke because of the clothes you would wear that day and then shove to the back of your wardrobe afterwards. But i never understood why she would always make you change, but never Peyton. I guess its a girl thing.

Really? That means a lot coming from you Hales. I'm just going to have to wait and try and get better, i guess and maybe one day it will be my team again.

Dont worry, in six months everyone will be home again for the summer and it will be like they never left. Take more classes then and graduate early or something, you're smart enough to do it. What are you using all the free time for though?

N.

19/10

Yeah. That's Brooke for you I guess.

Maybe.

I use it to think. Nathan what are we doing? We're pretending like we never broke up, like we've always been best friends, when we haven't. You're telling me about the girls your with, we only broke up two months ago, or did you forget.

20/10

Haley? What happened? We were doing so well, we were finally starting to be proper friends. Don't do this now, don't shut me out like this. We were moving on Haley, work with me here.

I know you're probably still mad, but you need to tell me what i can do to keep you as my friend. I respected you when i came home, I didn't force you to see me because i accepted that you didn't want that. Tell me what your thinking Haley, because i have no idea whats going through your mind.

Lets go back to talking about basketball, or studying. Please Haley, please.

29/10

Nathan, I'm sorry. I've been trying to forget, but it just hit me. I sat here, reading your emails over and over, and i realised something. I cant get over it. I've been pretending like i have but i don't think i can.

Its bad enough for me to know you were sleeping around when you were fifteen, but you got a girl pregnant Nathan. Which is bad. But then to force her to get an abortion because you didn't want to deal with what had happened, when she wasn't sure what she wanted is just wrong. Its heartless and selfish.

But then to tell me, that you would have done the same if it had happened to me, that broke my heart Nathan. I thought you were different, that you had changed. I loved you so much, but the Nathan that i loved would have never said that to me. So I'm sorry, but i cant do this right now.


	3. November

**A/N This is a short chapter ****sorry****, but ****that's ****just how I feel their relationship with each other would be at this point in the story. Please review :) I'll update if I get like 5 more reviews okay? **

1/11

Haley. I don't know what to say.

3/11

I'm sorry for saying that Haley, I really am.

4/11

I hate this so much Haley, does one mistake have to ruin us? Because we were good together, and we both know it.

5/11

Okay Haley I get it. You don't want to talk to me. But if you change your mind you know I'll be right here waiting. I cant fight you about this anymore, I made a mistake and I have to live with it.

7/11

Cant you just forgive me?

11/11

Nathan,

I just cant. Every time I close my eyes, I just see you there yelling at me and then you morph into Dan. I cant help it, that's just what I dream of and its scarier than any other nightmare, Ive ever had. I cant forgive you Nathan because every time I think of that night, and what you said to m, I cry.

H.

12/11

Haley, I'm sorry. Its killing me that you're having nightmares about me because I remember when you used to come to school with that smile on your face and tell me you'd dreamt about me.

I should have never have said that to you Haley, because its not true. I wouldn't do that to you - You're the only girl I ever cared about, loved. You mean a hell of a lot more to me than any other girl ever has, so don't cry, please don't cry.

Nathan.

14/11

You wouldn't? Oh god Nathan, I need to tell you something. I just don't know what to do.

H.

17/11

Haley? Whats happened? Tell me, please. You're upset about something and if you tell me I might be able to help.

19/11

I cant. I just...no. I cant. How've you been?

22/11

Hales, tell me. You'll feel a lot better, I promise.

24/11

Oh Nate, I cant. You'll hate me, you really will.

27/11

Nothing you tell me could ever make me hate you, Haley James.

29/11

I'm pregnant.

30/11

What?


	4. December

**A/N Keep reviewing, it really motivates me to write more. I'll update if I can get up to 15 reviews, okay? I hope you like this chapter, its my favourite so far. **

2/12

I'm pregnant, Nathan.

2/12

I don't understand. How can you be pregnant? Is this why you were so mad at me?

2/12

Nathan, I'm sorry. And no, I only found out a couple of days ago.

2/12

Are you sure? Have you been to the doctor?

2/12

Yes I've been to the doctor. Nathan, I'm so scared.

3/12

Okay, don't freak out. I'm coming home Haley, we'll do this together, its going to be okay.

3/12

Nathan. Don't do that.

3/12

Haley, this is my fault too and we're going to deal with this together.

3/12

Nathan, please stop being so nice.

3/12

What do you mean? Haley, I'm going to be there for you, I'm trying to find a ticket home, but they're all for a couple of days away.

4/12

Nathan, its not yours.

4/12

What?

4/12

Nate...I didn't mean for this to happen, I'm so sorry. I really am.

5/12

How do you know that Haley? How many guys have you slept with since we broke up? You told me you weren't seeing anyone.

5/12

I'm so so sorry Nathan. It was just one night, I didn't know what I was doing. I wish I hadn't, I've felt horrible about it ever since and I feel even worse now. I cant do this right now, I'm only eighteen, I'm not ready for this. Nate I know you must be mad, but please. I'm so scared, I'm so scared. Please.

6/12

Was it that night you went out? When I stayed up all night, waiting to know if you were okay. How could you Haley? I don't know what you want me to do. You slept with someone else. Another guy. In your bed. Who is he? Do I know him? Haley I'm trying my best, but I feel like...like my hearts been ripped out of my chest. Just tell me who it is.

6/12

Nathan I'm sorry. That whole night was a mistake. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. I need you to be there for me, because I can't do this with you being angry at me, I need you Nate. I don't know what to do, I'm not ready to have a baby, especially not like this.

7/12

I haven't slept with anyone since you, and I just figured you hadn't either. Then you tell me tat you're pregnant and its not mine. I don't know what to feel Haley, because I don't know if I can bring myself to be there for you.

7/12

Nathan, please. I know that you're hurting and that what I'm asking is unbelievably selfish, but I need you to help me. I don't want to tell anyone, because I don't know what I'm going to do. I need you to tell me what to do. I need your help, please.

8/12

I'm sorry Haley. You must be scared shitless and me flipping out isn't going to help. Its just hard for me Hales, I still think about us and I guess I'm not ready to lose you to someone else yet, but I'll be there for you Haley because I'm always going to love you. I can't make this choice for you though, this is your choice and its not anything to do with me.

10/12

I'm so sorry. I wish I had just forgiven you and then none of this would have happened. I was so jealous of that Sally girl you were seeing and I wanted you to hurt like I was hurting, but afterwards I just felt so guilty and I couldn't bring myself to tell you. I thought I could just pretend it never happened, but obviously I cant do that anymore.

Nathan, I don't think I can do this. I'm to young and nothings how its supposed to be. I'm not in love, or married, I'm still in college and I don't even have enough money to move out of my parents house. I don't think I can have this baby, not now.

Thank you, Nathan, for being here.

12/12

Oh God Hales, now I feel like shit. I'm sorry about Sasha, I was just distracting myself from the fact that you didn't want me anymore. I feel so guilty now, do you want me to come home? I don't know what to do either Haley, its a strange situation for me. When you first told me you were pregnant, I'd just assumed it was mine. I don't know how to act, but I know that I need to be a friend for you, so that's what I'm going to do. Its just that you could have a whole new life, and I wont be in it and that scares me shitless.

Haley, if that's what you want then do it. But just think about it carefully because its not something you can take back okay. Trust me on that.

I hope you're feeling okay.

N.

15/12

Don't feel bad Nathan, this is my fault not yours. No, but thanks, I think you were right, I need to deal with this on my own and making you come home for this isn't fair to you anyway.

I know, I'm terrified too. I always thought when I had kids it would be with you, in ten years or something. I wish it had been yours Nathan because I think I could do it if we were together, but Tim's not the kind of guy I can do this with.

I'm okay, I'm keeping it together.

H.

16/12

Wait what? Tim? Tim Smith? Tim who I used to play basketball with? Haley no. It cant be him, it just cant. Fuck Haley, you slept with Tim fucking Smith a month after we broke up? I cant believe it. You're having a kid with Tim?

I'm going to kill him, when I get home next week I am actually going to kill him. What the hell was he doing? What were you doing? Of all the guys, you slept with Tim.

I've gotta go, but I'll write more tomorrow.

N.

17/12

I know Nate, I know. I don't even like him. Which makes it worse, I know. It was all just a huge mistake, but I was drunk and he kept telling me that you'd probably slept with half a dozen girls so it wouldn't be a big deal, and I know I shouldn't have listened, but it made sense at the time. I'm sorry, I really am.

He told me to get rid of it when I told him. But I'm not so sure anymore. Is it right to kill a baby because I made a mistake? Or is it unfair to keep it and not be good enough? Or fair that they have to spend their entire life wondering why their Mom didn't want them? I don't know Nate.

Where are you going? I hope you had fun. I mean I'm having fun too. Sitting in my room alone and puking up the half a gallon of ice cream I just ate. Talk later.

H.

18/12

That asshole. He knew you'd listen to things like that. Tim's always been full of shit. I'm actually going to kill him when I get home.

Oh fuck Haley, I'm so sorry. I know that you don't think I am after everything but I am Hales, you don't deserve this. I think you just need to go with what feels right, you have pretty good instincts.

I did actually thanks. It was a really good night and I haven't been that happy in a long time. I feel like I've really gotten used to life here - its going to be so weird being back in Tree Hill after this. Can we meet up this time? I've missed you Haley.

Oh God Hales. Half a gallon, really? Feel better though.

N.

20/12

I know I shouldn't have listened, but I was depressed and it seemed like a good idea. Feel free to kill him Nate, seriously.

Its okay Nathan, I know you are. That's what everyone keeps telling me. I feel like I've let everyone down. I told Karen yesterday and her face said it all. And now everyone's going to be home for the holidays and I'm going to have to tell them. I'm so scared Nate.

That sounds good, I'm going to need a friend. I'm sorry about last time, I was stupid and immature. It feels like forever ago now. When do you get in?

Haley.

20/12

I just can't believe you would actually listen to the guy. I mean its Tim Smith. Do you know where he hangs out these days? I was serious about killing him.

Haley, they love you, this won't change that.

Don't worry about it Hales, we were both confused and hurting and I pushed it too far. And at the end of the day, things between us worked out pretty well don't you think? We're finally proper friends now.

My flights tomorrow morning, so I should get to Tree Hill for lunch, but I'm meeting my Mom. Dan wrote to me, he wants to see me after Christmas. I haven't seen or heard from him at all since I left Tree Hill and I don't know whether I should go or not.

What's a good day for us to meet up? I cant believe its been four months since I saw you, its crazy.

Nathan.

20/12

I know. Trust me, I've learnt my lesson and now I'm living with it. Literally. I think I know what I'm going to do though.

Yeah, we were both pretty stupid back then, but you're right. Its good that we finally got it together as friends. All that fighting was getting boring.

Oh Nate, its Dan. I think you should just leave it. He's where he belongs now, don't put yourself through going to see him. You deserve better.

Any day, we'll probably bump into each other soon enough anyway.

Haley.

29/12

It was so good seeing you Nate. I had a lot of fun, which I needed. This holiday really felt like old times with Luke and Peyton there, and Brooke obviously.

And thanks for that night. I know it was probably the last thing you wanted to do, but I really appreciated it. It feels like aw eight off my shoulders now and its so good to not have to worry about it anymore.

Its weird how so much has changed between us, but some things are exactly the same. I'm beginning to think maybe we are meant to just be friends. Anyway I should go, Brooke and Peyton are over any minute and I know they'll get the wrong idea if they find me emailing you. Especially because you only left a few hours ago. So write when you get this I guess, because as corny as it is, I miss you already.

Hales.

31/12

It was good seeing you to Hales. It was nice to go back, but it just really hit me that I'm never going to live there again. I mean if everything works out for me with basketball and stuff, I just wont ever be back for good and that made me sad.

Don't sweat it. You needed a friend and I'm always going to be here for you Hales. I have to say, it was very satisfying to punch that guys face in though, even if Coach is going to kill be for my bruised hand. When you go back to school, check if his nose is broken for me won't you?

Yeah, I think we're happier now, than we would've been if we'd been trying to make this work.

But I kind of need to tell you something. I meant to tell you in Tree Hill, but I couldn't find te right time. I've met someone Haley and she's really nice and I like her a lot. I know I should've told you before, but I didn't know how to say it.

So what are your plans for tonight? Going out with the girls? I'll be thinking of you. And for what its worth, I think you made the right decision.

N.

31/12

Nate,

I don't believe that. At some point you'll be back, Tree Hills home.

Oh god, that wasn't good Nathan, I could actually hear the bones crunching, urgh. But it did feel good to throw up on his shoes though, oxymoron, I know.

Yeah, I thought it would be so hard for us to be friends Nathan, but its working out pretty well. I'm glad we kept in touch and didn't just cut off contact because you've been really good to me these last few weeks.

Don't worry, I'm not going to go all crazy like last time - look where that got me. I'm kind of okay with it. You deserve to be happy Nathan, and if this girl makes you happy then go for it.

yeah big plans. We're just having dinner the four of us. Brooke wanted to go out but we overruled her. What about you? I'm sure you have big plans.

Haley.


	5. January

**A/N Okay, so theres not much drama at the moment, but there will be soon. I'm thinking this story will be about 6 more chapters maybe, if I get enough reviews. If you like this story at all, please review so I know that I don't completely suck at writing this. Thanks :) **

2/1

Haley,

That was pretty cool when you puked over him, almost as good as when you threw up all over my Dad. You're good at the whole vomiting on people you don't like aren't you?

Its cool Haley, I'm just sorry I'm so far away. And thanks for being so good about Elizabeth, my girlfriend. I know its probably hard for you or something, or just weird and I appreciate how mature you're being about it. She does Hales, she makes me really happy and I think I make her happy too.

That sounds good, I should've stayed a few more days. Its good how Brookes so cool with Peyton and Lucas, after all the crap that happened in high school I never thought they'd be friends again. Not really big plans, I just went to a party with Elizabeth, you know. Nothing fancy or anything.

The weather here is incredible, its not freezing like Tree Hill is this time of year, its actually warm. You'd love it here Haley, you have to come out and visit sometime, maybe after the baby's born. I'm looking forward to getting back to Tree Hill in the summer though, this holiday made me all nostalgic for how things used to be. I cant believe school starts again tomorrow, Coach is so going to kick our asses for being so tired after NYE.

Nate.

4/1

Nathan,

Oh God, I'd forgotten about that, no wonder your dad always hated me. But that was your fault, getting me drunk at your beach house, you should've known that I was going to throw up on your dad.

Its fine Nathan, its good that you've moved on, and as long as she's good to you and you like her, that's all that matters really. So don't worry about me, it is a little weird but then my being pregnant is probably weird for you too.

I know, she's really grown up a lot recently and I think she's even happy for them. I'm just glad that they all took my news so well, I thought Lucas was going to totally freak out, like when he found out we got married. Oh, that sounds fun, was it good?

I am jealous, its so cold here right now that I'm writing this underneath a blanket, because I'm still cold even with the heating on. Life's unfair. Yeah, I want to see you in California because I still don't see you as someone who lives there, do you surf and all that typical stuff now? Trading basketball for the surfing team?

Eurgh, I know. Its been so nice to give up school and just do all the homework whenever I want. I think I might just start taking online classes, then I can work more and it will be easier when the baby comes, what do you think? I need to save more money and I can do school whenever.

Come home soon, don't be a stranger Nate, everyone misses you, your Mom has been all mopey round the Cafe since you've gone.

Haley.

7/1

Yeah Haley, because that's what I was planning the whole time, get my girlfriend drunk so she can humiliate herself in front of my Dad. His face was priceless though.

Yeah I guess. I'm still weirded out about you, so its makes sense and I really like her, I think it could lead to something. Am I allowed to say that, or is that too personal? I don't really know what the rules are about talking about your new girlfriend with your old girlfriend. I mean I did it with Peyton, but our relationship was a lot different to the one I had with her.

Yeah Brooke is surprisingly mature now, its pretty unexpected. I'm just glad Luke finally sorted out the whole Peyton/ Brooke thing, that was really getting old by the end of High School. I'm kind of glad he ended up with Peyton though, they always seemed a better fit than him and Brooke, but that's just me. I think some people are just meant to be, and no matter what they'll end up together.

See, that's what I don't miss about Tree Hill, its so friggin cold in winter. And no, I'm not a "surfer", basketball keeps me too busy to even try really, its so much more intense than High School ball.

Haley, don't. You love school and you don't have to give it up. You're meant to be so much more than just a waitress and I don't want you to compromise on that ever. Maybe after the baby comes then you can for a couple of months, but just keep on. I know you Hales, and I know you'll go crazy without school.

I will Haley, I promise. When things get slow here I'll come back for a long weekend or something.

Nate.

11/1

Nathan,

As long as you don't start talking about your sex life, I think its all good. I want you to be happy with her, and I know that you don't talk about this kind of thing with any guys, so its good for you have someone to talk too I guess. I really want us to work out as friends Nathan, and friends talk about this so why can't we?

I love Brooke, but I just feel like she was good for teenage Lucas, but that they would never make a real adult relationship work. But don't tell her I ever said that. I agree completely that some people are made for each other, even if they spend their whole lives figuring it out. Its things like that, that give me hope that I'll find something like that, or someone like that. Because somewhere out there, there has to be that one person that's perfect for me, right? And one for you, and for Brooke you know? But I really think Lucas and Peyton are those two people. made for each other.

I know, but its not really challenging anymore and none of my friends are really close, so its not like Tree Hill High. I just think that for now it makes sense to finish off this semester and then start taking online classes and working more shifts at the Cafe. I'm not giving up, or limiting myself Nathan, I'm being practical. I want to be a good mother and if that means making sacrifices about school, I'll do that. I'm going to make this work Nate, and I'd really appreciate your support.

When things get slow. Nice to know you care.

H.

16/1

Haley,

Don't worry, I know not to do that. You're right, friends do talk about this and so if you're okay we can talk about this too. Thanks for being so great about this Hales.

Yeah, that's exactly what I think about them and don't worry, you're secrets safe with me. I like to think that to, its nice to know that there's someone out there for you. Don't worry Haley, you'll find them, I promise and when you meet them it will be like you're Peyton and Lucas. Well not actually them, but you know what I mean.

If that's what you want Haley, then I'll support you in doing that. I just don't want you to have any regrets and I'm worried you'll regret not going, I think if you give it more time then maybe you will get closer to your friends and everything. I just feel bad, because I'm having such a great time here and I want you to have fun at college too.

I'm not worried about you being a good Mom anymore Haley. You're going to be so good, and that kid is going to be so lucky to have such an amazing Mom that loves them so much. Just don't lose yourself trying to be perfect Haley, because no matter what they'll love you for who you are, remember that.

Hormones? Because we both know I didn't mean it like that, its just not practical to come home if all I'm going to be doing is writing papers and crap. But I'll be home the whole summer to help you out, okay? It'll be good.

Write soon,

Nathan.

20/1

Well if you ever want to talk, I'm here. Just write me an email anytime.

Thanks Nate, that's sweet I think. I know, we'll both find the right people in the end, I mean maybe Elizabeth is the right person for you.

I know, I just I really do need to be practical now. I need money to raise a baby and that's that really. And if I'm at home more, I have more time to work on music, so I'm not losing myself, I;m just changing who I am a little bit. Making improvements. Don't feel bad, I made a choice Nate and know I have to deal with it and make it work.

Thank you. I'm so scared, but I'm kind of excited too. I went to the doctors and I could hear the little heart beat. It's a tiny little person and while that scares me to death, I've also never been this excited before. I mean its all at the wrong time and its not meant to be like this, but I'm finally starting to believe that its going to be okay.

I know, I'm sorry. I'm so happy you'll be home for summer Nathan, its going to be good to have everyone together again.

How are things with you going Nate?

Haley.

25/1

Maybe, but I am only 19 so who knows. She's just fun to be around and she gets me and while it looks good now, I don't know if she'll be my forever. But this time in ten years, we'll probably both of found the right people for us and be living perfect lives. Or close. This is all getting really cheesy. I feel like we're in some bad rom com.

I guess. God its still so weird that you have to be practical because you're having a baby. But just do what you feel is right Haley and I'm expecting to hear all your new songs when I'm home in the summer. I'm always going to be here if you need me Hales, remember that.

Maybe it's the right time. You're like the most mature person I know Haley, and I believe in you. You deserve to be happy and I think you will be happy with this. You can do it, so don't listen to anyone that tells you anything else, you're Haley James .

It will be and we'll all get to see the newest member of our gang lots.

Things here are good, I mean nothing special. I spend all my time in class, at basketball practice or with Elizabeth, so busy, but good. And you? How's college?

Nathan.

29/1

Yeah, hopefully things will be good for us in ten years and we'll be living the perfect Rom Com lifestyle. I wonder where we'll all be in ten years though…

I know, but I'm getting used to the idea, actually I really like it now. Well I'll have a screaming baby, so I don't know how much time I'll have to serenade you Mr Scott.

I love you Nate, you always know how to make me feel better.

College is bearable. I just hate that people are starting to whisper about me now and I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but I'm not that strong. I can't wait till I can just do online classes and not have to see them anymore.

Write back soon.

Haley.


End file.
